Your First WG

Ach so, there you are. Welcome to our WG, die Wohngemeinschaft, I think you have already known that. Is it hard to find? Yes, it is just five o’clock but it’s already dark outside. Oh, you can take off your shoes and put them on the shoe shelves here next to the door. It is cold outside, you know. It’s going to snow soon. But fear not, it is warm here.

So, you say you come from Indonesia? I wonder how the weather would feel like there. Warm? No snow? No winter? No fall season, either? Man, you are lucky, you get the summer all year long. As you may have known, it is totally different here in Berlin. You have to pay attention on what you wear, according to the season. You bring a winter jacket with you, right?

It’s okay, you will have a lot of time to unload your stuffs later. As for right now, you can put your stuffs right here, next to the shoe shelves. I will show you around. Ready?

Okay, we are at the living room right now. It isn’t too big, you can see. There, on the left wall of this building near the window, is the TV. It’s too obvious, isn’t? Twenty one inch flat screen is not too bad. We will share the subscription together with the Internet fee. The remote is next to the TV. Make sure you put it back when you finish watching TV. And here is the sofa. It’s comfortable for TV watching but when it is occupied, there is a small chair on the left. It is cushioned so it won’t hurt your butt. And this table in between, is very important. It serves also as our dinner table. Except for Mahdum – he eat sitting on the carpet, we eat on this table and make sure to clean it up everytime you finish with your meal. And yes, you can do your homework on the table, too, if you like and when nobody is there, watching TV or eating, of course. Otherwise, you can’t concentrate. Oh, when you are bored staying in your room the whole day, there are some magazines to read. Old ones, though. But always good to exercise your German, I guess.

To the right is the kitchen. There are two sinks, thank God, so you can wash something when somebody is using the other sink. We have four electronic stoves here, two big ones and two smaller ones. You can cook whatever you want as long as you clean up your own mess after that. Here is the thing to dry up the plates and other things. Or if you are diligent enough, hanging there on the wall is the cloth for drying up.

Under the sink are the shelves for kitchen utensils. The most upper one is for silverwares: eating spoons, yoghurt spoons, forks and knives. Ah, here is a pair of chopsticks, too. Kim uses it often. Do you use chopsticks too in Indonesia? I guess yes. I never know how to use that kind of thing. Kim taught me once but I gave up. It’s too difficult. I prefer fork and knife. You know, the American way, like I used to grow up with. The second shelf is for plates and bowls. I think we have enough for the four of us. And the last one is for the pans, pots and wok. I know, it is funny to have a wok here. We used to have a Chinese friend living here. She used the wok often and she taught me how to cook some easy Chinese food like fried noodle or so. I was never successful. But Kim uses the wok once in a while. It cooks better with wok, she said. The drinking wares are inside the cabinet above the sinks. Yep, open it up. There you see some glasses, mugs and yes, wine glasses, too. We had some parties once in a while. Get yourself used to beer and wine here.

Next to the door to bathroom is the fridge. Two doors. Above is the freezer. You can put ice cream or meat there. Don’t laugh, but sometimes we make ice cubes, too. It is important, especially in summer. You can put almost all your food in the lower part. As you can see, this part on the upper shelf is mine. We can share the space as I don’t store many things. Ah yes, I need to clean up some space for you later. The middle shelf is Kim’s and the lower one is Mahdum’s. The same thing goes on the door but since we don’t have enough room, it’s better to label the milk or juice bottles with your name. As for vegetables and fruits, there is a special shelf on the bottom.

Come here. You see that switch next to the fridge? Yes, turn it on please. It’s for the light in the bathroom. And here we go: the best room in this apartment. Why smile? It’s in the bathroom where you can get your total privacy. Most thinkers and philosophers searched for and found inspiration in the bathroom, you know. Here is the toilet on the right. Your soon-to-be place for self-reflection. Trust me. Here is a small window above. Make sure you open it up a little bit when you are doing your business. You will need air circulation, anyway. In front of us is the shower. Not too big but enough to contain yourself. Make sure you put the curtain inside the ceramic when you are taking shower so the water doesn’t wet the floor and the carpet. We like dry bathroom. Dampness and wetness attract mold, you know. And to the left is another sink. Wash your face, brush your teeth, squeeze your pimple or shave. Do whatever you like here. Plus, the mirror here is also a cabinet so you can store your toiletries. Open it up and see how it works. Pretty neat, huh? Let’s go out and walk towards the aisle.

The first room on the right is Mahdum’s. He is from India and has been living here for almost three years, I guess. He is studying IT. Sssttt. Put your ear on the door. You hear something? He might be on the telephone. He is always on the telephone. There is always somebody he should call. His mother, his girl friends, his uncles, the Indian market owner, you name it. You’ll find it funnier if you know what his name means. He told me it meant slow and calm in Hindi. He is a very nice guy, actually. Sometimes he cooks curry – and share it with us – which makes this apartment smells like curry for a while. If that happens, open up any windows in the apartment for at least 15 minutes. And don’t be surprise if you see him eating with hand. “It’s our custom,” he said, “I don’t need the spoon and the table. Sitting on the carpet is enough. And it is healthier.” People in Indonesia eat with hands, too? Interesting. He always says he needs a girlfriend but I never see him bringing a girl home. He sometimes goes out for a bottle of beer but always with his Indian friends. And of course, they are speaking the language I don’t understand. I will open the door so he can see you. Yes, just wave your hand if he is on the phone. See? I told you so, he is on the phone.

This one on the left will be your room. Pretty empty, huh? Peter, the former tenant, took all his things with him. But a bed, a table and a cupboard will be a good start for you, right? I do believe you will buy many things later. I thought I had too much room when I first moved in but now I wish I had a bigger room. Don’t laugh. Wait until next year. I’ll buy you a bottle of beer if you don’t come to me and say, “I wonder if I could store this stuff in the living room.” Here on the left is the bed. On the right is your cupboard. And at the far end, facing the window is your table. It is always good to have something to look at when you are studying, right? If you need a bookshelf, I have one in my room. You can use it.

Let’s go back to the aisle. There you see two doors. The right one is mine and the left one is Kim’s. Our rooms are a little bit different from yours. Ours are square and yours is more rectangular in shape, if you get what I mean. Let’s walk there.

So, here lives Kim, from Korea. Her fullname is Kim Beee… Oh, gosh, why is her name so difficult?Kim Bid-Na. Ah, it is here on the door. Bid-Na - that means shining, she told me once. She is 22 but she looks like she is 18. She doesn’t like to be interrupted, especially when she is studying. She told me she should study at least four hours a day. She finished her German course in less than a year, with a “sehr gut” note on her DSH certificate. She is now enrolling at UdK – Universität der Künste – Berlin, studying graphic design. Yes, she might get a straight As and finish early. I should say she is always in the room, actually. I seldom see her going out on weekend. Sometimes she sat on the sofa, working on her homework. Ah, make sure you read whatever posted on Kim’s door before you knock the door. What is on now? Is it in German? Oh, let me see. The writing here means she is studying until 7 p.m. for a test next week. Leave a note under the door if there is something important you need to tell her. She will come and greet you at your room later. She probably cooks you dinner, too. Who knows? And yes, she wears glasses but when she takes it off, she looks like one of the personnel in a Korean girlband, Mahdum told me often. Ah, here is it. Mahdum posted it on the door. What is the name? S-S-N-D? I never know exactly. I saw it once in the Internet. Ah, S-N-S-D is the right name. Wait, what? Korean boybands and girlbands are popular in Indonesia? No wonder you know a lot about them. What a good taste Indonesians have.

Last but not the least, here is my room. Here come inside. It’s a bit messy, like other boys’ room. You see the difference? Mine is more on a square shape, probably only 10x10 feet. Yours is probably 8x12 feet. Ah, I forgot, you need to convert them to meter. I’m sorry; I still count in inch and feet though I have been living here for almost three years. Oh yes, my name is Lelio, as you may have known, and I am from the U.S. And yes, it’s not a typical American name. It comes from Latin, meaning talkative. Ha ha ha. And now you know why I am the one who greet you, right? And that little bookshelf near the window in front of us will be yours, if you want it. Those pictures on the wall are my work. I study photography, as you may have guessed. Here is Brandenburger Tor during the Festival of Lights last October. Here is the Fernsehturm at Alexanderplatz. This picture on the cupboard – my favorite - shows a fracture of concrete, which used to be the popular Berlin Wall. But wait, I need to stop. I can spend hours just talking to you about these other pictures. We'll do it tomorrow or next week. Whenever you are free. 

Let's go out of this room. You might be tired now, after a long flight. How long? Sixteen hours? Holy Jesus. I thought 12-hour flight from Chicago to Tegel was long enough that I wanted to kill myself. Now let’s go take your stuffs and put them in your room. We will have a lot of time to talk and share story. I will make you some tea, if you like. No? It's okay. Tonight you will have your own room to sleep in. See you at the dinner time if you are not falling asleep or feeling the jetlag. Happy unloading.

Common Courtesy

If you are attending a meeting, a lecture or a conference in a hall, what are the common courtesies, especially regarding the noise?

Would you talk your friend sitting next to you every two minute or so?

No.

Even if you wanted to talk, would it be about the on-going lecture or mostly something totally unrelated to the topic?

Preferably regarding the topic: something I don’t understand, something I find interesting, something I want my friend to discuss with me later on.

Would you turn your phone to silent mode?

Yes. But sometimes I forgot and the host reminded the audience. It would be very embarrassing if my phone rang when the hall was silent.

If you didn’t know how, would you ask your daughter or somebody else to help out?

Good idea. My daughter might understand the gadget better than I do.

Even if that didn’t help, would you turn it off instead?

Uh, yes. I decided to attend the meeting, lecture, etc. That means I have already dedicated my time to the event. Unless something really urgent took place, other things going through my phone should wait.

Good. At least you know what the common courtesies in the meeting hall are.

Unfortunately, some Indonesians do not know these courtesies, at least in the event I was in today. Let me tell you more.

Every last Sunday of the month, there is a ‘sarasehan’ (discussion forum) at Rumah Budaya Indonesia (Indonesian Cultural Center) in Berlin. People (mostly German) who had been (or currently) living, working or studying in Indonesia are invited to share their experiences. It is a good way to learn about Indonesia, which is very rich in cultures and natural resources. And today’s topic is Makassar and I found this very interesting because as a person living in west part of Indonesia, Makassar and eastern Indonesia is as foreign as Timbuktu to me.

It started (surprisingly) on time with a guest speaker from Jakarta, a staff from Educational and Cultural Minister, proposing and asking feedback for government's plan to disseminate Indonesian Cultural Centers in several countries.

And so I was sitting quite in the middle row because the first 10 rows were occupied. Behind me sat two Indonesian women. One was in her 50-60s. Another one was in her 20s, probably her daugther. They were sitting next to the guest speaker’s assistant. As soon as the assistant left the seat, the two women started to discussed whether or not the assistant were married, whether or not she had close relationship with some prominent figures in Indonesia. They stopped when the assistant was back.

As the second speaker started to speak, the two women also started their own conversation. At the beginning it was about what the speaker was talking about. Oh, the speaker spoke German and without microphone. So, one of the women might not understand that well and need some explanation. Since my German is not good enough, I need to really listen, too.

Ten minute later, the women changed the topic: where to go on the weekend? why was A so late? what to buy for the house? Started to feel annoyed, I looked back with the hope they understood and stopped talking. Previously, a German woman had given the same look to them. They looked at me back, smiling. Good. They seemed understood my non-verbal language. Oh, I am glad I study psychology.

Two minutes later, the same thing happened again. I moved my chair a little bit forward, again, with the hope they understood I was disturbed. I wouldn’t care should they spoke some languages I didn’t understand. But I understood Indonesian and their voices were audible without me having to ‘really’ overhear them. I am a poor audible person and with the two ways of information sources, my mind found difficulties to divide the attention (although I didn’t want to know what they were talking about, but because I understood the language, my mind automatically processed the information, plus I needed extra concentration because my listening to German was not so good). Trying not to be rude, I applied every non-verbal language I could think of at that moment to tell the two women.

Ten minute later I gave up.

I decided to be a little bit assertive. I asked the two women not to talk too loud. The younger woman turned and looked at me. Her brows were raised closer, her left part of the lips were raised. Her head were raised a little bit. She rolled her eyeballs to the left, looking at me one more time. But after that, they decided not to talk and communicate using their Blackberries.

A ha!

Being assertive was not that bad at all. I got the silence for almost all the lecture until I heard a regular “triiiing” – typical BBM tone. But since it was almost at the end of the lecture and the ringtone didn’t break my attention, I could only shake my head everytime I heard the “triiiing” sound, again, with the hope they realized what they were doing.

After the lecture, I was relieved that I was finally free from the disturbance. I stood up and decided to go to toilet. I was waiting for the next person when the same woman looked at me disgustedly and furily from the line to the lunch table. It was the younger woman who sat behind me. I tried to smile but it didn’t seem to help. Everytime she had a chance, she looked at me, with the same expression. She and her family were talking to somebody working at the Embassy.

Maybe she thought she knew somebody important here and I didn’t have the right to tell them what to do in a meeting? Or who the heck was this new guy trying to tell me what to do in my territory?

Let me tell you girl, you are a representative of your country. Know the common courtesy and show a good image of an Indonesian. That will help creating good image of Indonesia abroad. Knowing somebody important in the Embassy doesn't mean you can do whatever you like. This rule applies everywhere, girl.

Okay, even if you thought my request was too direct and feel offended, hello??? How long have you been living in Berlin if you are not used to the openness and directness of Berliners? You may maintain all your values from Indonesia but if you don’t try to adapt and adjust to the new culture, believe me, you are not going anywhere.

Till we meet again.